


(Drowning in) Baggy Hoodies

by orphan_account



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: For The Sake Of The Story, Grinding, M/M, Making Out, also this is my fist fic about them, basically james lets the comments get to him, body issues, hate comments, i dont think there are actually hate comments about this but, yeehaw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21654325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He had never though about it much. He got so many heart-eyes emojis in his comment section that his ego was probably bigger than it needed to be, after all. Who knew a few comments would pop his inflated ego faster than they could type "fatass".aka size difference, a bit of comforting each other, and a drunken make out/grinding session
Relationships: Alex Elmslie & James Marriott, Alex Elmslie/James Marriott
Comments: 3
Kudos: 142





	(Drowning in) Baggy Hoodies

A brand new video posted for the world to see. It's been years of him doing it but he still gets the rush right when it's published, right when the likes and comments start rolling in. Of course, the first few are always annoying "first!" comments, but hey, comments are comments.  
He can’t read all of them, of course, but he does like to skim through them after it all starts to die down a little. Quite a few referenced a specific timestamp, one where he'd made a dumb face or something. (which is, of course, the peak of comedy) He had just finished reading through quite a few funny ones when one made the laugh in his chest stop in it's tracks.  
  
_"God you look so fat at 7:48"_  
  
He looked back at the paused video. The more he looked at it, the more he saw. The more chins, the more fat rolls, the more… him. There was so much of him there, even though it was only his top half in frame. He stares at it a few more seconds.   
  
_It’s fine_ , he tries to tell himself. He gets so many comments with heart-eyes emojis every day, what was just one bad comment about his appearance. _But was it really only one?_ Something inside him asks.   
  
He knows it’s a bad idea, looking for bad things. Yet, here he is, command-F searching for “fat”. And… 27 matches. 27 times someone typed fat into his comments. He knows he should stop there, that he should walk away now, read some good comments, get that ego inflated back to the size it usually is. But curiosity killed the cat, so he starts to read through all the matches.  
  
“Hey mate, you posted that new video yet?” James jumps as Alex walks into the room and flops onto his bed.   
  
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did. It’s, uh, doing pretty well actually.” He hurries to click on another tab as Alex leans to look at his computer screen.  
  
He makes a funny face at him. “You act like I just caught you jerking off or something.”  
  
James chuckles nervously, not quite knowing what to say. He looks down at his keyboard. “Did uh, did George come with you?”  
  
There’s a pause before Alex speaks. “You okay mate?”  
  
James clears his throat. “Yeah, why?”  
  
Alex tilts his head. “Just seem a bit off, that’s all. You’d usually say something about how you jerking it would be a sight to behold or something.”   
  
He tries to gather what remains of his confidence and say something on brand. “You almost sound disappointed you didn’t get to see it.”   
  
It doesn’t come out quite right though, and he can tell they both noticed. He braces himself for more questions.  
  
Thankfully, Alex decides to move on. “Well, remind me to watch it later. Is it about Lele Pons or Jojo Siwa? We both know it’s one of those two.” He grins.   
  
James releases a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding and grins too. “Don’t forget I could be making fun of children.” He jokes.   
  
Alex laughs. “Very true mate, we all know how you love kids.”  
  
“If anyone here is a nonce it’s George and we all know it.” They both laugh.   
  
It feels better, sitting here joking around with Alex, almost like he can forget all the comments on his video. Almost. It’s still there though, nagging at the edge of his brain.   
“You guys gonna come drink or what?” A voice yells from the living room.  
  
James nearly leaps to his feet, eager to forget his worries in the comforting burn of vodka.

* * *

_Too much_ , It’s all he can think. Fraser went to bed hours ago, citing some appointment tomorrow. George left after only a few drinks too, because of… something. James can’t quite remember in his drunken state. Now it’s just him and Alex, glasses long forgotten, sitting on the floor, a half empty vodka bottle between them.  
  
What started as a happy get together soon devolved into a sad get-yourself-wasted-to-forget-your-troubles kind of drinking. The only sounds in the room were the muffled city noises from outside and the TV’s volume on low.   
  
“Saw what you were lookin’ at earlier, y’know.” Alex blurts, slurring slightly.   
  
“What d’you mean?” He asks, trying to remember anything past 10 minutes ago.  
  
“When you were lookin’ at your comments, mate”  
  
The memory jolted back into his mind. _Shit._ So much for drinking to forget.   
  
He grabs the bottle and takes a swig, trying to think of a way to answer without showing how much it got under his skin. “Nah, wasn’t anythin’ really.”  
  
Alex stares at him. “You know they’re wrong, right?”  
  
James blinks slowly. “I– what?”  
  
Alex sighs, grabbing the bottle from James’ hand and taking a swig himself. “You, you’re not fat.”  
  
James winces at the word. “I mean–“  
  
Alex cuts him off. “No. You’re not, you’re just…” He searches for the word. “Big, yeah, but maybe that’s just me.”  
  
Alex puts down the bottle and shrugs, looking at the floor. “I always get comments about how small I am, I mean, they’re right about that but…” He trails off.   
  
“Well,” James starts, trying to gather his thoughts. “Small is cute it’s… pretty, dainty really.”  
  
“Really?” Alex looks up at him like a fucking puppy. _Jesus Christ that look will be the death of me_.  
  
“Yeah it’s– it’s being the little spoon and leaning up to kiss someone and– and wearing their hoodies and drowning in them.”  
  
Alex smiles, fiddling with the strings on his hoodie. “Well, well then same thing with bein’ big then.” He stated. “Bein’ big is, it’s being warm, and kissing someone’s forehead, and– and giving good hugs, and leaning down to kiss someone.”  
  
James chuckles, actually starting to feel better. He has a feeling that if it was anyone other than Alex saying these things he would dismiss them without a second thought. With Alex though, he can start to believe it himself.   
  
“Besides, can’t be that much of a difference.” He jokes, reaching for James’ hand. He presses the two together, his fingers coming to just above the second knuckle of James’.   
  
James laughs at the shocked expression on Alex’s face. “What did you expect, mate?”  
  
“Expected a difference, not one this big though.” He threads his fingers through James’, holding his hand now. James sucks in a breath. “How do you even hold hands with someone?” He mutters, looking at their interlocked fingers.   
  
“I mean, I’m doing it right now.” He tries to joke but finds he can’t quite catch his breath.  
  
“But… still…” Alex says, voice fading as he looks up from their hands to look at James’ eyes.   
  
_Shit_ , when did they get this close? Hadn’t they just been sitting a foot away? Why are they sitting so close, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes like the couple on the cover of a romance novel?  
  
“Can’t believe I have to look up even when we’re sitting down.” Alex murmurs.   
  
James hums softly, too distracted by the way Alex’s lips move while he talks to think of actual words.  
  
“Can’t believe I kinda like it.” He says even softer, cheeks turning pink as he says it.   
  
It’s far from perfect. They’re both drunk with the taste of vodka still on their tongues, sloppily kissing with a fever like the world was ending soon. But It’s close enough, with James threading one hand into Alex’s hair while the other goes to his waist, with Alex moving to straddle him and putting his arms around the other’s neck. With James eventually moving his attention to Alex’s neck, biting, licking, and sucking all over, with Alex moving one hand from James’ neck to muffle the noises he’s making. With Alex grinding down on James and making him provide his own noises, muffled in Alex’s neck.   
  
It’s far from perfect, but _fuck_ it’s good. He hadn’t realized how much he wanted to kiss Alex till he was there, inches away. He hadn’t realized how much he just wanted Alex till he was on his lap providing the friction he so desperately needed.   
  
A whine escapes Alex through his hand. “Ah– James– Close–“ He grinds faster, chasing his high.  
  
James returns his attention to Alex’s mouth, kissing him hard and fast. Alex comes first, biting his hand to keep quiet, James following shortly thereafter, biting Alex to stay quiet. Their kisses turn soft and sweet, punctuated by small bouts of heavy breathing. James grabs tissues and they clean themselves up.   
  
They fall asleep together, with James as the big spoon.   
  
_Maybe being big isn’t that bad._

**Author's Note:**

> yes i did write this all in one sitting. yes this is self serving. yes i am projecting. why do you ask.
> 
> tbh i didn't mean for this to go as far as it did but i just started typing and this happened.
> 
> uh yeah as i said it's my first fic about them, plus this was written in a feverish panic upon thinking of the concept (plus I never write in third person but we're gonna overlook that). i'm not gonna say to go easy on me but at least go medium, yknow.


End file.
